Acceptable haircuts for muslim women?

salam. i wish to cut my hair in a style , and of course still wear hijab as always outside this is just for inside my home. howver i read you cannot have cuts like unbelievers,do not shave, do not resemble men. tell me how would your hair be then? if you let it long you are mimicking jewish and some christian groups(holy rollers do not allow their women to cut hair ) who do not allow their women to cut hair ,cut it too short and it will be like a man,cut in any style or any hair cut you will resemble an unbeliever because haircuts are of many variety unlike back in prophet mohammed;s time where you could know a persons religion or culture by their clothes and haircuts. forexample he said to dye your hair because nonbeliever leave their hair gray, id say about 95 percent of old people dye their hair . so in todays time there is no way to avoid looking like a nonbeliever they all look different and have no common trait. what are theoptions?